My mother was a massage therapist throughout my childhood and continued working in the profession well into my adulthood. In many ways, massage therapy has been part of my family life for as long as I can remember.
On July 3, 2015, my mother suffered a left temporal lobe stroke following a frightening incident involving a car accident. The stroke affected the left side of her brain and, consequently, her dominant right side. At the time of the stroke, she was also diagnosed with diabetes. She had likely lived with poorly controlled diabetes for years, which may have contributed to complications affecting her overall health.
She never fully returned to the person she had been before her stroke.
For years, many of the changes we observed were attributed to the lasting effects of her stroke. As her cognitive abilities continued to decline, however, it became clear that something more was happening. In 2023, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and vascular dementia, meaning that she is living with both neurodegenerative and vascular forms of dementia.
Alzheimer's disease is a progressive neurological disorder that gradually damages brain cells and affects memory, reasoning, communication, judgment, and eventually the ability to perform many basic activities of daily living. Vascular dementia can occur when damage to the brain's blood vessels or previous strokes impair brain function. Together, these conditions have had a profound effect on my mother's life.
Today, my mother has advanced dementia and requires extensive assistance with virtually every aspect of daily living. She can no longer live independently, and her care requires constant supervision and considerable hands-on assistance.
Becoming My Mother's Caregiver
My mother's circumstances have also become complicated by her marital and legal situation. Her husband initiated divorce proceedings before her cognitive impairment had been fully diagnosed and before she was clearly incapacitated. I subsequently became her conservator, allowing me to make important decisions and manage her affairs on her behalf.
My mother now lives with me, my husband, and my sister. My sons also help with her care when our schedules require additional coverage. We have essentially created a family caregiving team, taking turns caring for her so that she is not left without someone to assist her.
It has been a tremendous responsibility, both emotionally and financially.
When I am not working as a massage therapist, I am generally at home caring for my mother or handling the many responsibilities that come with managing her affairs. There are medical appointments, medications, food and household necessities, transportation, legal matters, insurance, bills, and countless other expenses that arise when caring for someone with advanced dementia.
I don't really have days off anymore.
I continue working because I need to support my household and help provide for my mother's care, but caregiving has made it increasingly difficult to maintain a normal work and personal schedule. The financial burden has also become significant, particularly with ongoing medical and legal expenses.
If You Would Like to Help
I know that not everyone is in a position to contribute, and there is absolutely no expectation that anyone should. Even simply reading my mother's story, sharing this page, or keeping our family in your thoughts means a great deal to me.
For those who would like to help financially, donations can be made through any of the following:
- Venmo: @Kyong-Mi-Dillard
- Cash App: $hiskuuipo
- Zelle: kymirasoleil@gmail.com
Every contribution, regardless of size, helps with the ongoing costs of caring for my mother and managing the responsibilities that come with her illness.
Thank you for taking the time to read our story and for supporting us in whatever way you are able.
No comments:
Post a Comment